Sunday, July 17, 2005

the usual

It's funny because it's TRUE!
If you've been to a DMB concert, you know these folks well.
I just can't figure out which one I am...I guess 'girlfriends' is most accurate if I had to choose one.


Mix and Match Dave Matthews Fans
By Nick Margiasso
Tampa Bay Times

It's that time of the year again. Time to wear brightly colored swimming trunks, sip frozen drinks in 98-degree heat and see the Dave Matthews Band on the its summer tour. Sure Dave will be there, but it's the folks that make up the audience that really give the show its color. You know them well, but here's an introduction anyway.

Hippie Lite: The watered-down version of their hemp-clad, grilled cheese peddling, dreadlocked Caucasian contemporary. The woman shaves her armpits (a sin, I know), while the man is no more likely to be wearing self-knit patchwork pants than he is able to recite a classic Grateful Dead set list. They got here in a Volkswagen Golf, not a vintage VW bus, and enjoy a tofu wrap and soy milk latte over a trunk-grilled pizza and mushroom tea any day. They regularly wash, use the word "dank" to qualify anything pleasing and have bank accounts (stocked by parents) - tisk, tisk. They never really "got" Phish, the main bridge separating them from their musty contemporaries.

Frat Boys: Will beat the daylights out of that kid if he twirls into him one more time. Drank a sixer before getting here, and plans to at least double that by show's end thanks to cash won from his weekly poker night. Dress code followed to a tee by all: polo shirt (flipped up collar optional), cargo shorts, tribal band/Japanese lettering tattoo, unkempt hair (backward hat optional), all white sneakers and a shell necklace. Drove up in a custom truck in which he plans to peel out in after the show, screaming "wooo" all the while. Dave is his way to channel a sensitive side to girls or to drunkenly bond with his bros. His favorite song is No. 41 , which he's trying to learn how to play on guitar to get chicks. Seriously, dude, it's an awesome idea.

Cool Parents: Dad sports a random bar T-shirt, while Mom wears her favorite sundress. Started singing along with the Crash album as soon as they said goodbye to the babysitter until pulling into the parking lot, bumping the Honda Accord speakers to the limit. They might have a Bud and a plastic cup of zinfandel, respectively, during the show, but are over most vices these days. They just closed on their house, so money's tight, but might swing an item or two at the merchandise table anyway (DMB bumper sticker, eh). Got into Dave back in '94 just before they met at UF. Friends call Dave the "soundtrack of your lives," a little inside joke they enjoy.

Yuppies: Flew over here right from the office, hence the cuffed DKNY dress shirt and polished Diesel kicks/Nine West pumps. Luckily, they brought a pair of prefaded Banana Republic jeans to change into in the parking lot. Only rum and Coke for them at the show, for which they scammed tickets from a sales rep at work. They love it when Dave gets played on the radio in their cubicle, but really enjoy going out to some bar afterward where they'll see that guitarist who always covers Satellite.

Girlfriends: Sporting cute Gap outfits they hope don't get dirty on the grass; these ladies (usually in threes) always will be friends because of nights like this. Sure, one works in an office while the "crazy" artsy one leaves her silly messages on the way to pick up the hometown girl that never strayed far, but they'll all be at the show tonight just like every summer. While they may lead different lives, their Dave, who's always playing on their stereos, only heightens the bond they share. What are the chances they'll meet a sensitive guy that understands them tonight? Cross your fingers.

College kids: Between sharing rides to Publix with the roommate that has the car, downloading files on Limewire and cramming for midterms they barely had time to shave some cash off the parents and financial aid to score tickets to this thing. There will be no beer drinking or hot dog eating at the show, though, as the ticket and gas money costs left only enough cash for three Five Star pizzas and a jug of Check cola for the week. They have been downloading all Dave's stuff since freshman year, even distributing bootleg copies of Stand Up around the dorm a month before it hit shelves.

Cellular Fans: They're so overwhelmed that Dave is playing their song. Time to call somebody and hold the phone up in the air so it can be heard on the other end of the line. It's too bad Dawn or Tim couldn't come, but this is just like being there. Any aforementioned fan types are applicable to this crowd.

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